Among Friends
by InvisibleJediMaster
Summary: Megamind takes his new hoverbike on a test run to kidnap Roxanne Ritchie and finds her doing something surprising, so he changes his plan. (megarox)


_Megamind is not mine._

* * *

Megamind could not believe his eyes. Here he was, standing on Roxanne's balcony with the newly finished hoverbike behind him (What better way to test drive it than go out and kidnap his favorite reporter?) and he couldn't even get beyond the boundary of the large glass doors. He was frozen by the spectacle before him. _The cape - HIS - and the blue pajamas, almost exactly the same shade as his skin - the music, she was singing along to Styx - the flare of his high collar behind her head and the short spikes at the shoulders - "—fear for my life from the long arm of the law; Hangman is comin' down—" - How did she get one of his capes? - her eyes were closed but she was dancing - black and dark blue flaring around her legs, looking odd against the soft pajama fabric -_

The music was loud enough that she hadn't heard him land, hadn't heard the sound of his hoverbike's engine, and Megamind was _so so glad_ because he wouldn't miss this for anything. It was one of the most fantastic things he'd ever seen. What he wouldn't do for a video recording device right now. Since he was lacking in anything resembling a camera, he gently pushed the glass door open wider and crept inside while she reached the end of the song.

Roxanne went still with her back to him, which was just perfect because it gave him that extra moment to pose himself against the wall, right next to her music player and speaker, with the I'm An Incredibly Handsome Evil Genius smirk on his face. The last notes of Renegade faded, he paused the device before the next song could start, and then he clapped a few times. "Bravo!"

His voice, impossible to miss in the wake of the song, made Roxanne about-face so quickly she nearly lost her balance. Her eyes went wide at the sight of him and she froze with a corner of his cape caught around one leg.

"I intended to kidnap you today, Miss Ritchie. But! I have a new _prahpohzishun_ now!"

"And," Roxanne twisted the edges of the cape through her fingers nervously, far too off-guard to respond normally with banter or sarcasm, "what proposition is that?"

"Come with me, and spend the day with Minion and myself; I shall postpone my glorious victory over Metrocity for another day, you will not be tied up, and we shall entertain ourselves with games and _mooncheese_ and other activities. That is my offer. If you say no, I will continue with my original plan and Metromahn will have to try to rescue you as you are."

( _Please_ )

~M~M~M~M~M~M~

Roxanne's face paled at the thought of getting caught looking like this by Metroman. Wayne had once seen her wearing a Megamind T-shirt (Honestly, it was just a black shirt with his M logo in blue on the front. Her little brother had made it as a gag gift for her birthday.) and teased her about it for _weeks_. Megamind and Minion had been so confused when the hero hinted at it during the next three rescues, she was actually kind of amused. Good thing he didn't know Roxanne had taken one of Megamind's capes, discarded during a fight, after he had flown the supervillain back to prison. _Spoils of war_ , she told herself, like a prize for being the Damsel since she wasn't and never would be the girlfriend of the hero. She and Wayne were just friends, no matter what the rest of the city thought.

But now Megamind himself knew _and_ he had come to take her while she was dancing away to a rock playlist, passing time until her laundry was finished. To make matters worse, she was wearing The Blue Pajamas under the cape. Curse the look on his face, she was mortified and he was far too pleased with himself. That lucky evil little—

Seriously, though, why hadn't he kidnapped her already? One would think he would seize the chance to rub it in Metroman's face. Why did he give her the choice of spending the day with him and Minion instead? It was... a unique opportunity, and she was more than a little curious. This had the potential of being significantly more interesting than the regular kidnap-and-rescue routine that formed the basic structure of all their interactions. And if she said Yes, she wouldn't be rescued by Wayne while dressed like his nemesis. Definitely a good thing.

Maybe Roxanne could find out why Megamind wanted to spend time with her. She couldn't get any clues just from looking at him; he was merely standing there in front of her, watching her think with a satisfied, evil grin and green eyes bright with mischief. Roxanne picked at the short spikes adorning her shoulders with one hand, _realized_ she was doing that and stopped, then straightened her spine, put her hands on her hips, and looked the blue man properly in the face. "No kidnapping and no Metroman? You promise?"

"I swear it on my _hone-ore_ as the Master of All Villainy, Miss Ritchie. You will be subject to nothing but a few hours of 'hanging out' with Minion and me." Megamind held out a hand, ready for her to shake in agreement.

If it had been anyone else, Roxanne would have laughed at the statement, but the thing about Megamind (and Minion, couldn't forget the fish even if he wasn't here) was that he really was an honorable villain and not that bad a guy. It's why she never screamed for him—or, more accurately, because of him—and participated in the hero-villain banter instead. Every time he threatened her with something she knew she wouldn't get hurt since he always had subtle fail-safes where she was concerned. His word was trustworthy. So she took the three short steps necessary to reach him and took his hand in her own. She saw a flicker of surprise, but his long fingers curled around to close the handshake anyway. No actual shaking of hands followed, but that was okay; what she'd done was enough. "Okay, Megamind. I'll stay with you and Minion today and we can hang out."

"Excellent! Get your shoes and we'll leave immediately!"

Apparently she wouldn't get to change clothes, but that wasn't a surprise. Megamind had already seen her anyway, so there wasn't much point. As she slid her feet into the pair of plain black canvas shoes by the front door, she wondered how Minion would react to her appearance. Part of her was already looking forward to it. "Megamind, how did you get up here?"

"With my newest creation, Miss Ritchie!" He practically skipped over to her balcony doors, drawing her attention to the machine outside them. "This is my hoverbike! Capable of flight up to 6000 feet above the ground and 350 miles per hour. Not as compact as the jetpack, but much more powerful."

The hoverbike pulled her outside like a magnet. "Wow. That's _amazing_." She stared at it with a bit of awe. Most of the things the evil genius made were amazing, even when outweighed by how ridiculous some got, but she didn't really get to see any of them like this except a few of the death traps. The flying machine was a beautiful craft, an artwork of engineering, designed and painted with care for detail.

"Th-thank you Miss Ritchie, I worked rather hard on this. Nice to know someone appreciates it." He coughed awkwardly into his hand after the unexpected compliment. "Now, if you don't mind, I will need to blindfold you for the trip back. Can't have you discovering the location of my Ee-vil Lair, after all!" Black fabric was looped around her head a few times, blacking out her sight, and knotted carefully above one ear. "Ready to go?"

"Yes."

Unable to see, she was hyper-conscious of Megamind's gloved hands on her arms as he guided her onto the hoverbike. He sat down in front of her and adjusted his cape out of her way. "Please hold on tight," he instructed as Roxanne wrapped her arms around him. "Be careful of the spikes." The engine roared to life and they lifted from the balcony slowly. Her grip tightened automatically and she pressed her forehead carefully against his back. She was glad that the thick leather collar the cape he was wearing today draped from only had a single line of inch-high spikes on the top of each shoulder. If they switched capes, there would be little spikes over the entire surface of the shoulder guards including the high rising back panel, and she would have to hold on to him more carefully.

When they were far enough away from her building, Megamind shot into the air across the city in a burst of sudden acceleration. Roxanne inhaled sharply and hugged Megamind tight, but after a moment the flash of panic faded and she relaxed again. Her long cape flapped away from her back like a flag in the rushing air. She tried to picture herself at that moment—

 _Two people on a flying motorcycle, wearing matching capes that trailed in the wind. One with blue clothes, one with blue skin and black clothes. The woman's blindfold shifted into a domino mask._

~M~M~M~M~M~M~

Roxanne laughed as they soared above skyscrapers.

Megamind didn't say anything on the way back, but they wouldn't have been able to talk to each other anyway. The engine and the wind together made enough noise that they would need to shout to be audible. He was glad his passenger was blindfolded because she couldn't see the violet blush across his cheeks created by her secure embrace and chuckling. _What was she thinking about?_ Together they flew in a high arc over the edge of the city before turning into a descent over the lake shore and diving among the abandoned buildings of the old industrial neighborhood. He turned a corner, slowed, and they both vanished through the hologram that disguised the exterior entrance to his lair. The hoverbike floated to a stop just a few feet away from the invisible (not currently) car.

"Minion!"

The aquatic creature was not immediately in sight, but he responded with a "Welcome back, Sir!" His voice had a metallic echo as it reached them from deeper in the Evil Lair. "Did the hoverbike work well? How is Miss Ritchie today?"

"Code: Cancel The Plan, Minion! We're doing something different today!" He helped Roxanne to her feet and kept hold of one hand. "I'll remove the blindfold in just one minute, Miss Ritchie. Come this way." Guest or not, she was still a nosy reporter and Megamind didn't want her to see his plotting area or the work rooms with half-finished designs. She was a clever woman and might be able to discern some of his future plans, so he had to lead her back to the recreation portion of the liberally-modified warehouse he called his lair. It was the collection of rooms near the back with Minion's pool and his bedroom, the bathing facility, the kitchen, and the theatre.

Brainbots swarmed them before they got more than a few steps out of the 'garage' zone. Number 322, designation Retriever, had the throwing wrench in jaw. "Yes, yes, daddy's home! _Hey!_ No biting. Gimme the wrench." Retriever floated forward from among the others while the two trying to sneak in low on his left to bite Megamind and Roxanne's capes jerked back, caught red-clawed in the act. Their creator knew them too well. Their creator also had the wrench now, and that mean the Fetch Game! "See the wrench?" Megamind waved it above his head and all the red eye-lenses of the brainbots locked on to it. "Who wants the wrench? Go get the wrench!" He sent it flying out of his hand and towards the giant robot room. Barking brainbots— _Bowg Bowg Bowg Bowg_ —chased after the tool in a stream, Retriever in the lead.

"Sir, are you alright? Why is the plan cancelled? Is—" The tall mechanical gorilla suit Minion used appeared and the intelligent fish went silent. His shark-toothed maw gaped open in surprise and his eyes followed the woman dressed in blue and a cape as Megamind pulled her forward.

"Ollo, Minion! As you can see, Miss Ritchie is with us today. Instead of being kidnapped, she agreed to spend the day with us." Minion was faced with two grins; a wide bright one in the face of his best friend/master/brother and a shy one in the blindfolded face of his almost-friend/target/favorite reporter.

Roxanne turned to look in his direction, successfully in spite of the blindfold. "Hello Minion."

Megamind led her past him and Minion merely turned around in his dome to watch the mysteriously matching pair walk by. He was still stunned, but politeness was so ingrained that he managed to say, "Hello Miss Ritchie," anyway. Megamind gestured wildly with his free hand to get his lifelong partner in crime to come along. The gorilla suit twitched back into motion to follow the two capes to the multi-purpose room they called the theater. The theater part consisted of one wall, unadorned and painted white, a ceiling projector, a long couch and two chairs. One chair was metal and solid and the other had a high back and wheels. Megamind liked his chairs to move. Also in the room were several shelving units filled with anything from playing cards to computer parts, a table, and a small refrigerator.

"Can I remove the blindfold now?"

"Yes!" Before Roxanne could do it herself, he pulled the knot to unravel it and yanked it free. Now that she could see again, he didn't have that excuse to keep holding her hand and let go reluctantly. She looked around the room blinking. Her blue escort danced backwards to Minion to stage-whisper, "Isn't this great, Minion? Roxanne Ritchie is here, and not because we kidnapped her!"

"That is good news, Sir, and quite unexpected, but how, if you don't mind me asking—" His words caught as Roxanne turned around to face them in all her blue-pajama-wearing cape-covered glory.

"Hi, Minion! Again. Hi again, since I can see you now. A~nd you can see me. Obviously. To answer your question, Megamind found me wearing this," she tapped the metal clasp shaped like his villainous insignia that held the cape's collar closed, "and gave me the choice to hang out with you two instead of being kidnapped today. So here I am!"

"You would choose to spend the day with us over getting rescued by your boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend," Roxanne scoffed. "It's _your_ fault," she eyed them both pointedly, "that everyone thinks that, you know. Always kidnapping me and no one else."

"But Metromahn always comes to save you!" Megamind protested her statement. He'd done the math, he knew Wayne Scott always arrived quicker when he had Roxanne.

"Of course he does! The hero has to rescue the hostage, especially when she's the Damsel in Distress. It's one of those unwritten rules of hero-ing."

"You may be a Damsel, Miss Ritchie, but I wouldn't say you're ever 'in Distress'. That would necessitate screaming in certain situations; being captured by the villain, for example." Megamind raised an eyebrow. It was a moderately raised eyebrow, acceptable to go with his comment, though he could have done it much more melodramatically should he so desire. Long boring hours in solitary confinement had given him time to master the completely unimportant skill early in his criminal career, and he eventually starting using it to improve his dramatic self-presentation. Presentation was an important ability for villains and heroes alike.

Roxanne matched his expression, plus a delicate upward twist of the lips. "Maybe if being captured by the villain were distressing..."

"Ah! My black evil heart." Megamind faked a swoon and fell against his friend. "Minion, what do I do? How do I prove my terrifying nature to Miss Ritchie?" He gave her the sad fish face, the adorably pitiful look Minion was so good at making.

"You can call me Roxanne, you know." Her lips were twitching in the effort to not start laughing at his dramatics.

Megamind gasped. "Can I?!" _Really? He had permission to use her first name?_

"Yep!" She winked at him, which made him blink and Minion squeak and flutter his fins.

He sprang back to his feet. "Why, thank you _Roxanne_. But backing up to what you just said; Metromahn and you are not a _coople_?"

"No. We're just friends."

"Friends! We~ell," Megamind sauntered around her in a circle, "don't think this will change anything. Future kidnappings will still occur as planned." Except now he wouldn't be kidnapping Miss Ritchie of Channel 8, girlfriend of Metromahn; he would be kidnapping _Roxanne,_ Roxanne who sang to Styx and wore his cape and agreed to spend time with him (as a kidnapping alternative)...

~M~M~M~M~M~M~

"I expect nothing less from Metrocity's resident supervillain." Twitch. She just said _Metrocity. Don't notice, don't notice, please..._

Aforementioned supervillain stopped in front of her. "You don't sound _partickyoulairlee_ upset about this. Roxanne, do you—dare I say it— _like_ being kidnapped?" He leaned in close until their faces were only inches apart, making her train of thought jump the tracks to something completely different.

"Only," Roxanne poked him in the chest— _why are you touching him now—_ and held her finger there. "When the kidnapper," she slid right up next to him as he straightened, pushed by both her light touch and her presence, and turned her head to speak directly into a lavender-tipped ear _What are you doing, Roxanne, this is practically flirting, Don't Flirt With The Supervillain, this is a BAD IDEA._ "Is _blue_." She backed up, putting a comfortable amount of space back between them. Left with no idea what possessed her to say and do that, Roxanne couldn't help but cheer with victory in her mind because the blue bad boy was blushing. Pleased, she flicked the back of her collar up a bit in a quick motion that she had practiced after acquiring the cape and seeing Megamind do it a few times. It created a more pronounced appearance.

"Temptress," he hissed through a positively wicked grin.

"Miss Ritchie!" Minion was even more shocked than Megamind by her audacity. That sparked snickering, which made him that much more indignant.

"Minion, please, call me Roxanne." Her insistence cut off the fish's protests.

Mostly. "Miss Roxanne—"

"Oh, don't _worry_ about it, Minion. We're just having fun. That's why Roxanne is here today." The evil mastermind's aquatic assistant sighed in resignation. "Because she is our guest, she can decide what to do first." Megamind turned from Minion to her. "Most of the lair is off-limits for obvious reasons."

"That's understandable. Um..." Roxanne looked at the pair of waiting faces. The moment struck her as being very surreal, and she briefly wondered if this was just a dream, just casually being with these two. Dream or not, she would roll with it. "To be honest, I chose to come so I could learn more about you. _No_ , not as a reporter, don't look at me like that." She halted Megamind's expression before it could become more than slightly affronted. "I've only ever seen you in the middle of your plans; I want to know you better. So maybe we could take turns asking each other questions? And listen to music or play a movie in the background?"

"That sounds alright... As long as we don't _have_ to answer if we don't like the question." Minion's caution wanted some limits, and the nodding giant blue head showed agreement.

"That's fair. But you have to be honest otherwise." The game was pointless if the people playing it just lied, after all.

"Forbidden topics include the Ee-vil Lair and my current nefarious machinations." That much had been pretty clear to her already, since she wasn't even allowed to see most of their lair. Just this room so far. He _had_ said the lair was off-limits not two minutes ago.

"And you can't ask me for information on Metroman."

Megamind rolled his eyes, actually rolled his eyes, at her. "I don't want to learn about _him_. Metro-dork. But he is not important right now! Please, sit, sit." Leather covered hands waved her backwards towards the sofa. "Minion, will you retrieve a sampling of the small edibles from the kitchen while I prepare secondary entertainment?"

"Of course, Sir. What would you like to drink? And you, Miss Ri~Roxanne?"

"Lemonade, Minion. The fizzing kind from yesterday's batch."

"The same thing, please."

"I'll be right back." The tall gorilla suit retreated with the fish inside it watching them as he went.

Roxanne settled herself into one end of the couch—covered in some kind of smooth faux-suede material, with thick squishy cushions and a pair of blue throw pillows—and watched Megamind prod at the furniture's opposite armrest. A flat panel slid out and unfolded into a screen and keyboard, and Black Sabbath started playing a minute later. The music was too loud at first, but the villain turned it down until it was low enough for them to hear themselves talk. Megamind left the computer open and retrieved his wheeled chair. It spun to face the couch and its single occupant.

"Is this music _acceptable_ , Roxanne?" She realized she was bouncing one knee in time to the beat, which Megamind could clearly see—the laughter was in his eyes—and her face reddened just a shade.

"It's fine, I guess," she said dismissively, tone betrayed by her happy expression when she looked away airily and then back at him.

Megamind spun in his chair again. "Fan of this group and Styx both? Who else do you like to listen to?"

"You're the evil genius here, I'm sure you can guess."

Minion returned carrying a tray laden down with two large cups filled with carbonated cloudy liquid, a bowl of chips, plate of cookies, unopened bag of pretzel sticks, and a plastic jar of fish flakes. The whole thing was set down on the couch within Roxanne's reach, and the fish brought his own metal chair over to sit in. Megamind snatched one of the cups and took a long gulp, complete with a lick of the lips at the end. She stared at him, inexplicably captivated with him doing something so normal. To cover for it, she picked up the second cup and sipped at the sour-sweet lemony beverage. "This is good lemonade."

"Thank you Miss Roxanne."

The questions began after Minion beat them both in a brief rock-paper-scissors fight to determine who got to ask first. "How do you have one of Sir's capes?"

"Um. Remember about a year ago, when you tried to flood the city with all the fire hydrants? You slipped out of your cape to escape Metroman's grasp and left it behind when he eventually caught you. I _kind of_ took it when no one was looking." Roxanne fiddled with the metal insignia at the base of her throat, opening and closing the hidden clasp while not looking at Megamind. Who steepled his fingers and leaned forward. She called it the You've Fallen Into My Trap pose.

"Why did you take my cape, _Roxanne_?"

Roxanne shifted forward to the edge of the couch until she could reach Megamind and poke him in the forehead. "That. Is two questions. It's my turn!" Pause. "What are your favorite foods?"

~M~M~M~M~M~M~

Over the next hour, Roxanne, Megamind, and Minion learned a lot of random and not-so-random information about each other. Megamind loved to eat sweet things while Minion liked chicken and his fish flakes best. Roxanne's favorite color was red ("No, it isn't blue, but my favorite color changes all the time and it was blue two months ago. Why are you making that expression?") while Megamind preferred black and Minion teal. She admitted that stealing his cape was a spur of the moment action and that she kept it because it was surprisingly comfortable and fun to wear. Minion liked to make outfits for Megamind—a significant look passed between them when the fish said this—and Megamind's hobby was painting. The most annoying part of Roxanne's job was her cameraman Hal, the brainbots _still_ bit Megamind in spite of all the training to make them not, and Minion broke more sewing needles than he could count.

"What are the brainbots, anyway? I've always wondered about that."

"They are mechanical creations operated by an AI based on the brain of a Shetland Sheepdog. They can work independently or in groups and are intelligent enough to follow complex commands. And they like to play fetch."

"You made a real AI?"

"I _am_ a genius."

Minion asked Roxanne if she knew how to swim (she did), and Roxanne wanted to know why Megamind kidnapped her the first time.

"You didn't run away like everyone else, even though Metromahn and I were in the middle of a fight. And you were _filming me_!"

Yes, she had been filming since that morning. Being a reporter was still new to her, and she was trying to get an idea of what being on the other side of the camera was like. That afternoon, a super battle suddenly erupted in the streets. Roxanne just couldn't help herself; she turned her lens to the villain in his giant walking spider thing and started her own running commentary. He blasted Metroman away with some kind of laser, saw her, and snatched her right off the street just before the hero flew back. A bit of gloating occurred before Metroman destroyed two of the robot's legs, destabilizing Megamind's platform and creating an opening for Roxanne's rescue. Her camera had not survived the encounter.

After that, Megamind wanted to know what Roxanne would choose if she could have any superpower she wanted and he seemed surprised when she said flight. "No, not like when Metroman saves me, that's just being carried. You know that! I mean being able to fly myself, free as the birds. It's the only power of Wayne's that I really envy. The closest I've gotten is hang-gliding, but I don't have the chance to do that very often."

They all enjoyed action movies and bad sci-fi/horror the most, she discovered with her next question, and then Minion wanted to know if Roxanne especially liked any of Megamind's evil plans in particular (because he had his own favorites).

"Oh, absolutely! One happened on April Fools Day two years ago, with all the brainbots and the blue paint. It was _chaos_ , and so much fun. Wayne found me right after lunch and I smeared paint all over his suit. But where were you two? I didn't see you anywhere."

"We were there, hiding in plain sight. Metromahn couldn't find us even though we saw him fly by twice, and we ended the day victorious!"

"Victorious?"

"Our hidden plan was to make Metromahn _think_ we had a plan, and drive himself spare wondering what it was! It worked brilliantly!"

"It did, it did. I also liked the turtle thing, when you tied me up under water. Thanks for waking me up first, by the way, to put on the scuba helmet. I would have panicked if I just woke up under water."

"It was no trouble, Miss Roxanne. We didn't want you to panic."

Following questions revealed Roxanne's fluency in Italian (due to family) and Megamind's fluency in several languages (due to sheer brilliance) that did not include Italian among them. Megamind asked again about her favorite music so she gave him three names—Guns N' Roses, AC/DC, and The Cult—and insisted he could figure the rest out the hard way. His birthday was December 17th, Minion's too, and Roxanne was born on the day after St. Patrick's Day. He let her moan briefly about never getting to celebrate on her birthday because everyone was always hungover, then swore to kidnap her next year to make it exciting. "Thanks, Megamind, that sounds good." They polished off the last few cookies while discussing favorite flavors of cake and desserts in general, and then Roxanne needed to use the bathroom.

The aliens played rock-paper-scissors again, and Minion won again, while she was gone. She returned to find the table had been moved to before the couch, the snack tray and lemonade refilled and put on the corner, and a board game laid out. "Is that Monopoly?"

Megamind won Monopoly hands down. Minion made a good showing, but Roxanne lost so badly it was hilarious. "All hail the Monopoly Overlord," Roxanne bowed deeply with a cape-swish and failed to keep a straight face when he caught her up in his short victory dance. "What do you want to do now?"

He stroked his blue chin with a finger. "Minion! Can we go swimming?"

"Of course, Sir," the fish said, taken aback.

"But I don't have a swimsuit," Roxanne protested. She wasn't about to go swimming in her pajamas, especially when she didn't have access to a change of clothes. Wet underwear was the worst, and her wet shirt would make the lack of a bra far more obvious than she wanted.

"That's not a problem, you can wear one of my wetsuits."

"What? One of your— I'm pretty sure your wetsuit won't fit me, Megamind."

"Nonsense, the synthetic is very stretchy. Brainbots, two wetsuits!" He called the creations before she could verbally resist again, and suddenly he was manhandling her. "Hold your hands up like this, Roxanne."

"Why do I—" the entry of a group of the glowing-domed minions was followed by Megamind jumping back, leaving her arms stretched above her head, and both of them being surrounded by a round curtain. "Hey, what are you doing—" Metal claws removed every scrap of clothing on Roxanne's body with intimidating dexterity and replaced it with a black and blue bodysuit almost faster than she could blink. The sudden change left her head reeling and all she could do was stare at Megamind in the aftermath. He was wearing the same suit she was, which let her get a good look at it. It was designed mostly black with reflective blue stripes, jagged like lighting strikes, running down the sides and the M logo printed at the base of the neck where the cape's clasp normally sat. The sleeves ended above the elbows and the legs above the knees, incidentally giving Roxanne a view of Megamind's blue forearms and lower legs.

"See, what did I tell you? Comfortable, isn't it?" He winked at her.

"You could have warned me about the brainbots, Megamind." She sent him a Look. "But, yes, you were right." She picked at her wetsuit and admired its elasticity, then stretched to test it. "It's a little tight in places, but it does fit. What are they going to do with my clothes?"

"They'll hang up _your_ cape," Megamind leered, just a little, "and leave your pajamas in the laundry."

"Alright. So where are we swimming?"

"Please follow me, Miss Roxanne, my pool is this way." Minion— _the fish_ , she had to point out to herself—led her and Megamind out of the entertainment room and down to the large door at the end of the hallway. Inside was something that could only be loosely called a swimming pool; it looked like something straight out of an aquarium considering the aquatic plants, rocks, and sand that decorated it.

Whirring noises distracted her from her inspection of the swimming area. Megamind and Minion were in a corner and the gorilla body was sitting on the ground while the tank containing Minion drained. The transparent dome twisted up and opened backwards to let Megamind lift his companion out. A gleeful, "Throw me, throw me!" was followed by blue hands sending the fish flying ("Wheeeeee!") into the middle of the pool with a splash. His little head bobbed to the surface seconds later. "Jump in, Miss Roxanne!" Megamind was already diving in so she followed him and braced for the chill of water. It was cold, but Megamind's wetsuit proved itself to also provide some insulation against the temperature. Soon she didn't even notice and was engaged in a two way war of tag where she tried to avoid Megamind (a difficult task) and Minion (an impossible one) while diving all around the pool. The fish kept tickling the bottom of her feet, too, in little sneak attacks when they changed the game and started going after dive rings instead of each other, and Roxanne would jerk her feet up and lose breath laughing.

It was mid-afternoon when they got out and Megamind retrieved a black towel for each of them. She rubbed at her hair vigorously before wrapping it around herself like a blanket and watched Minion get put back in the gorilla suit. "How does he control that, anyway?"

"The simple answer is: through the antenna attached to his head." Megamind stroked the thin stripe of hair on his chin with a thumb. "The complex answer involves brain waves, a neural interface, and a great deal of _science_..."

"That's alright, I probably wouldn't understand a word of the technical explanation anyway. It's just—he moves so smoothly." It was sort of mind boggling, now that she was thinking about it. How did Minion, a fish with fins, not arms and legs, use the large suit so well? Roxanne couldn't even imagine what that would be like.

"Thank you, Miss Roxanne. It took a lot of practice." Minion ducked down shyly in his now-full dome as he stood.

Their attention was drawn to the door like lighting when the loud ringing clang of metal hitting concrete was followed into the room by a pair of brainbots making shy _bowg_ sounds. "What happened?" Megamind asked them flatly. He didn't seem entirely surprised to see them. The left brainbot gesticulated _something_ with a single opposable claw arm that caused its creator to sigh deeply. "Roxanne, please _exkooze_ me for a minute. Minion, stay with Roxanne while I deal with this." Barefoot and with a towel draped across his shoulders, Megamind strode through the door after the retreating brainbots.

"What happened?"

"It sounded like some of them knocked over the— one of the boss' projects."

"Hope they didn't break anything..." Minion shifted to face her as his eyes appraised her carefully. "What?"

"Miss Roxanne." He glanced at the doorway. "Do you—that is—how do you feel about him? Truly?"

"I—" Unable to choose between Minion and the exit Megamind had taken, Roxanne's eyes became fixed at a spot on the wall halfway between the two. _How did she feel about Megamind? Annoyed, he'd kidnapped her so many times, but— Thinking annoyance, Hal was more strongly connected to that word, all the bad come-ons and never taking a hint; Megamind annoyance only meant disrupted schedules now._ "Megamind is—" _Spontaneous, that was a better word. He was funny and clever, far from boring even when the death traps were familiar because he was always so animated about it. And today. Today wasn't over yet but it seemed like—_

 _Like a day with friends._

Minion waited patiently for Roxanne to gather her thoughts. "Minion, do you think we could be friends? Not just friendly like now, but real friends? The three of us? Because..." She traced the blue logo on the borrowed swim gear with her fingers. "I'd like to be friends." _Because she liked Minion. And she liked Megamind._ Admitting that to herself made her mind feel clearer, and her heart just a little lighter.

"You want to be friends with the supervillain?" His voice was quiet. Hopeful and sad, pessimistic and optimistic, trying not to sound like any of those, trying not to sound like it mattered. Just a regular question. "With the bad guys?"

Blue eyes met orange-brown. "If I really thought you were bad guys, I never would have come here like I did today."

Minion looked at her as if she just told him the sun was purple. Before his gaping jaw could shape words, Megamind strolled in. He had regained his cape during his absence but was still wearing the wetsuit underneath. "Minion, the brainbots gave me a deplorably entertaining idea! Code: Microphones!"

Code: Microphones shot completely over Minion's elevated head. "Sir! Miss Roxanne said she wants to be friends with us! And that she thinks we aren't, aren't _the bad guys_!"

Roxanne got to see Megamind well and truly shocked speechless for the very first time. Idly, she wondered if fish could hyperventilate because the one in her company was giving it his best attempt. Fortunately, Megamind's mute state didn't last long. "Friends!? You want to be—Not the bad guys!? We are _villains_ , Roxanne! After all the times I've kidnapped you, menaced Metrocity, attacked Metromahn—How could you _say—_ I think I need to sit down." He leaned back against the wall and slid to the ground. "Why—you—I don't..."

She walked forward steadily and crouched in front of the blue person who seemed oddly smaller than before. "Megamind." He blinked at her, so she grabbed his hands. " _Megamind_. Listen to me. I want to be your friend, I swear I really do. I think you are nice, funny, clever, and a good person. You are _also_ a criminal genius, the master of all villainy, and the one and only supervillain of Metro City. I don't know of _anyone_ who has as many prison escapes on record as you do, and don't think I didn't notice how the other villains that show up here don't last long. I _know_ not all of them were scared off by Metroman." A delayed blush rose in his face and his fingers squeezed hers. Roxanne's words had their desired effect and helped Megamind collect himself and calm back down. "You can be good and a villain at the same time, you know."

"Really, Roxanne, a good villain? Don't you know I'm _eevil_?" The was an odd sort of grin on his face, as if he tried to make an eevil smirk and didn't quite manage it.

Roxanne looked askance, catching Minion—who was now crouching beside them both like an actual gorilla with the knuckles of one hand stabilizing his balance—in the corner of her eye as she did, with a smile. "Of course you're _eevil_ , you wouldn't be such a persistent menace to the city otherwise. But you're good in ways too."

"And how am I _good_?"

Considering how fast he went from panicked distress to happiness, she could say, "You're good at being melodramatic," with absolutely no scorn in her voice. It would make him wonder if she was being sarcastic or not and deflect his flirtatious tone at the same time. "Now get up and tell me what Code: Microphones means." Roxanne stood and hauled back to force Megamind to stand with her.

"Minion?" Megamind tilted his large blue head towards the door.

"Oh! Code: Right Away, Sir!" Minion rushed out.

~M~M~M~M~M~M~

 _He wanted more excuses to hold Roxanne's hand. Her fingers were still a little cold from swimming, but her grip was steady and relaxed. He found it a little hard to believe, that she would be relaxed and accepting of his presence in her company. And—how could she possibly think he was good? His entire adult life was built around being bad, being the baddest of them all. And the bad guy doesn't get friends—but Roxanne wanted—he needed time to think about this, and couldn't right now. So he would take what he could get—_

"Would you like to change while Minion is setting up? I know the wetsuit is comfortable enough, and it dries almost immediately, but you might want your own clothing back." She looke genuinely indecisive. Why? Did she... _like_ his— "Or you could keep that on. We can wash your sleepwear before taking you back."

"I'm fine in this, but I want my cape back."

" _Your_ cape?"

"I stole it fair and square."

Megamind started chuckling and made himself release one of Roxanne's hands in order to lead her out of the pool room and back towards the theater. "Brainbots!" Five responded to his summons with curious _bow-owg_ and chattering noises. Red eye lenses examined their master with curiosity and his guest with suspicion. "You." Jump-Knut, recognizable by the yellow row of spikes, _bowged_. "Bring me the cape Roxanne was wearing earlier today." It and 107 (no informal designation since it hadn't earned a nickname yet) flew away, probably to the cape locker in the lair's suit fabrication room, and came flying back with Roxanne's cape moments later. Megamind took it in both hands and flicked it smoothly over Roxanne's shoulders with the ease of long familiarity. He adjusted her collar angle automatically for the villainous visual.

"Do I look _bad_ , Megamind?"

Megamind started in surprise; he didn't know Roxanne had heard him ask Minion that, though he did it often enough before they initiated a scheme. "Agonizingly fearsome!" he told her, because she looked fantastic. He would much rather see her wrapped in his cape than tied up in his ropes any day. His answer made her laugh.

"All ready, Sir, Miss Roxanne!" Minion's voice brought them the rest of the way back. The theater room hadn't changed significantly, but the projector screen was now active and the computer was sitting open on the Monopoly-free table, next to the microphones and as far away from the lemonade cups as possible. "I refilled the cups with water, thought that would be best. I hope you don't mind?"

"Best for what, exactly?" She switched between looking at the mostly blank projection, the computer, Minion, the microphones, and the water as if trying to solve a puzzle.

"Best for _karaoke_!" And he knew exactly what song he wanted to play first! He queued up a starting list ("Car-ah-what?" Roxanne asked from behind him, and he heard Minion explain, "Most people here pronounce it as 'Carrie-oakie,' Miss Roxanne. But the boss insists on the original pronunciation.") and took two of the microphones. One he kept for himself and the other he pressed into Roxanne's hand. He got the pleasure of seeing her face go very red when the first line of Renegade by Styx floated up the projection screen. "~Oh Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law~" he started singing immediately while watching her expressions. He didn't need to look at the screen to see the lyrics anyway. But he wanted Roxanne to sing too, so he nudged her with an elbow.

" _Evil_ ," she hissed almost venomously while he started the second line, but he continued to nudge her and coaxed her into singing with him for the remainder of the song. Roxanne expressed no further resistance after that token of false fury, and they wandered their way through Megamind's music collection.

After more than a dozen songs (Bad Apples, Voodoo, Blue Collar Man, and Bad to the Bone to name a few), need for food halted the karaoke fest. Well, Megamind and Roxanne's need for food. "Aw, I wanted to do Bohemian Rhapsody..." pined Minion.

Roxanne bumped him with her shoulder. "We can do that one next time, Minion."

Next time? Did he hear that right? The lair-dwelling duo shared a glance that confirmed they both heard her and would discuss the implications later. "What do like to eat, Roxanne? Minion and I can cook or order something."

"Anything is fine. What do you usually eat?"

"Pizza, Chinese, or _boofalow_ wings if we get take-out. We probably have the ingredients for pasta, pancakes, sandwiches... Some frozen food..." Megamind drifted off. Minion knew how the kitchen was stocked better than he did.

"What if... we made pancakes together?"

~M~M~M~M~M~M~

Five minutes. Five minutes was all it took for Minion to start the laundry with his master's hazard pajamas, the discarded towels, and Miss Roxanne's blue pajamas. Five minutes was also all it took for the two non-artificial bipeds to transform basic pancake ingredients into a culinary battlefield.

"—choice but to surrender!" He wasn't even in the kitchen yet and he could already hear Miss Roxanne's voice raised in what sounded very like an evil monologue. "Your griddle fate has been sealed by the chocolate chips of darkness!"

" _Never!_ Not while there are still butterscotch pieces and rainbow sprinkles to stand in your way!" If the familiar voice didn't confirm it, Megamind's favorite mix-ins did, even if he seemed to be bantering from the hero's position. "Breakfast will not fall on this day or any other!"

"Ha! It already has! Morsels have already been added to the batter supply and it's impossible to remove them! The flap-jacks are _doomed._ "

"No! The jacks have not flapped their last. Take this!"

Minion was almost at the doorway when Roxanne howled the howl a plan foiled. "You've ruined it with those bright colors! Made my pancakes _cute._ " The worst outcome, obviously. Minion rolled his eyes in spite of there being no audience for the gesture. "But how will you handle thi—" She cut herself off when he walked in.

Considering the scene presented to him, Minion couldn't _not_ say it. "Looks like a sticky situation, Sir." Megamind and Roxanne stood on opposite sides of the stove, a bowl of pancake mix beside each of them. Megamind was holding a jar of colorful candy sprinkles thrust forward at Roxanne's half-cooked pancake, which was half covered in them now. Roxanne had seized a bottle of chocolate syrup and aimed it at Megamind's first finished and hastily plated pancake. For that one eternal second, both their faces were turned toward him. And then Roxanne lowered the 'weapon,' lifted her unoccupied hand to point dramatically at the 'hero,' and went, "Ha!"

In response, Megamind lifted the open sprinklers over his head victoriously with, "Ha _Ha!_ "

Roxanne brandished the chocolate sauce again and squirted a stream straight onto Megamind's plate. "Ha hahaha _HA!_ "

And that devolved into... "Are you giggling?"

 **"Of course not, this is cackling!"** They said this simultaneously, which sparked more giggl— _cackling._

"Your pancake is burning."

Roxanne 'eep'-ed and picked up the closest spatula to flip her pancake before it could blacken. Megamind grabbed a cup that had been clearly set aside and switched out the sprinkles for fish flakes. "I prepared yours thin, Minion, would you like it now?"

"Yes please," he confirmed, so Megamind dumped the cup's entire contents into his skillet and sprinkled Minion's favorite fish flakes in liberally. "The laundry will take some time, Sir, so would you and Miss Roxanne like to watch a movie while you eat?"

"Excellent idea, Minion! How does that sound to you, Roxanne?" Megamind flipped the fish pancake. With such thin batter, it was cooking quickly.

"Okay." She stole the sprinkles from the other side of the stove to add (in moderation) to her next pancake.

"Thief!"

Roxanne just smiled at him nonchalantly. "What movie should we watch?"

~M~M~M~M~M~M~

Roxanne's syrup-smeared empty plate was all that remained of her breakfast-based meal. The pancakes, both sweeter and more colorful than she usually ate them, had been delicious. The one at the bottom of the stack, slightly burned and flooded with sprinkles, had tasted peculiar but eating it was just as fun as making it.

The movie they watched was a ridiculous new sci-fi original about lava spiders. Megamind provided scientific color commentary throughout, explaining why so many of the movie's events were (mostly) impossible.

Now the credits were rolling. Because Minion left to retrieve the laundry, he didn't hear Roxanne tell Megamind, "Too bad you weren't in this. I bet you could save the day before most people even knew there was a problem."

"Save the day? Bah! I do not _save the day_. The day needs saving _from_ me!" He leapt to his feet to make his declaration for an audience of one.

" _Pfft_ , so? I still bet you could do it."

"Perhaps, if I were inclined to do so. Which I'm not. Because I don't save the day."

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "You say that..." Megamind harrumphed. "Please. You saved my day. All I had planned was chores until you came. This was way better."

"Better?" She had his undivided attention. His expression was—not lost exactly, but—the look of someone in unfamiliar territory. "Better than being kidnapped, you mean?"

"Well, yeah, but being kidnapped still would have been better than what I was doing. Except for Metroman. That part would be Not Better." Roxanne grimaced.

"Getting rescued, not better? Why?"

She slumped into the sofa with a groan. "Do you remember... The thing with the spider webs? And the weather machine? His confusing banter?" Megamind nodded. "He was making references to a t-shirt I have with your symbol on it."

" _My_ symbol?" He pointed at the clasp of his cape. "This symbol?"

"Yes. He caught me wearing it one day and teased me for weeks. 'Hey Roxy, not wearing black today?' 'Do you separate your laundry into good and evil?' 'Why don't you ever wear _my_ logo, Roxanne?'" Roxanne sighed heavily. "And all that was over a simple shirt! Imagine if you kidnapped me like you planned. Dressed how I was. 'Did _you_ kidnap _him_ this time?' 'Megamind has asked you to be his evil queen before but I never thought you'd accept.' 'When does your apprenticeship in villainy start?' Ugh."

"Wouldn't he be more concerned than—even if he isn't your boyfriend, like you said, you're still friends, aren't you?" Ah, right, she said that earlier, didn't she?

" _Concerned?_ He would think it's the funniest thing ever. You could probably defeat him with a squirt gun, he'd be laughing so hard." Megamind's face twisted, probably trying to picture it.

"Defeat who with a squirt gun?" Minion was back, carrying a small, folded blue pile in one metal hand. "Here you are, Miss Roxanne."

"Metroman. Thanks, Minion." Roxanne took her pajamas, still warm and wafting that fresh laundry scent. She buried her face in them to breathe it in.

"But a squirt gun couldn't do anything... could it?"

"Only if he was laughing too hard to fight back," she mumbled through the cloth.

"What?"

~M~M~M~M~M~M~

Megamind let his mind drift as he flew away from her apartment. There was so much to think about after their day together. _She wore his cape, his colors, willingly. She agreed to spend hours with him instead of being kidnapped and getting it over with quickly. She said he could use her name. She sang with him, swam with him, watched a movie and ate pancakes with him. She laughed at his jokes and_ _ **smiled**_ _at him._

And what she said as he mounted the hoverbike to leave?

 _"Feel free to not-kidnap me again, Megamind!"_

Did—did that mean she—would she really want to spend time with him again like today?

 _'Only when the kidnapper is blue.'_

* * *

 _I was listening to the radio (Renegade by Styx, of course, which is why—) and got the idea for this. It also spawned its very own playlist._

 _Also, karaoke._

 _Also also, pancakes._

 _Please review._


End file.
